Progress

SO, work has been absolutely insane this week. I still really don't have the time to be writing this but I hate to neglect things.

I will be the bearer of bad news and mention that I goofed on Friday night and smoked a couple ciggies. I know, I know...
Moving on to the good part of this though - the next morning I realized that I didn't need them anymore. It was nice to sit there with one in my hand that night, but the urge to follow up with a few more the next day was gone. PS. Last night I was at the bar and did not have one.
This past weekend was my final slap in the face to just stop.

On a much lighter note, I wake up every morning at 6 AM now to jog with the dog before work.

I'm late for this meeting, yeah blogging!

Forward!

Okay, so I am fully prepared to be tempted with the sweet smell of cigarette smoke in the bar tonight.

If I can make it out of there with only second hand smoke damage then I win, forever. I normally go through 75-85% of a pack on a Friday night. It doesn't help that I'll be sitting next to a chimney like my former self.

I may try a low cal beer. Hm.

Wish me luck.

Step #2: Vitamins that don't look like Fred Flintstone?!

I haven't taken vitamins in a very long time. Even when I did, they were in the shape of cartoons.

The sight of me standing in front of hundreds of bottles at the store was comical...I had no idea where to begin. There was one brand that came in three different colors and to this minute I still cannot identify why. I ended up selecting one that I knew for sure was for my age group, and sex.

The list of shit in these things is more than I care to read, but it looked legit. I came home and opened them up and they were enormous. I mean, for fuck's sake...do I swallow it or add it to the stone display in my front lawn?
Until I can get a healthy diet going, I think these are a good start.

Day #4 of no smoking. Honestly I think the urge is wearing down. However, the weekend is near. Will not smoke, will not smoke, will not smoke.

Freak out, Le Freak, C'est Chic.

It's been two days and I almost cracked yesterday afternoon. However, I refuse to go back now. So I just sat with my frustrations and chewed a piece of gum down to nothing.

After I got home from work I couldn't sit still without thinking about it. I even did yard work. Me. Yard work. What?

This is good though. I'm feeling better this morning. I even woke up a little early and did some stretches I learned in my dance class a long time ago. If I keep that up, it may help the way my back feels at the end of an eight hour day at my desk.

My true test will be this weekend at the bar. A beer in my left hand and an empty right hand where normally a cigarette is permanently placed. Maybe I will just double fist it?

"I think I'm just a social smoker."

That's exactly what I told my Mother about three years ago.

Pair that with a husband in the military (who I would rather not spend a day without, let alone seven months), on and off wedding planning for years, a good job that requires me to do more than pour you a beer (no offense to my lovely fellow bartedners), living far away from family, and turning in to a responsible house owning, bill paying, booze loving adult. Ding, ding, ding! Stress! My smoking habit is directly related to any source of stress that I have. Everyone has it, but I need a different way to manage it.

As accomplishing as it feels to have not had a cigarette since Sunday night, the urge to do it is still there. But I guess as the great Buddha once said, "Every human being is the author of his own health or disease."

Despite the mild nausea I had last night and the shaky hands on the way to work (I normally have my morning smoke on the way to the office.), I feel completely in control of this situation. Heh!

PS. Protein shakes are much more fun with a curly straw.

Step #1: Peace out, Wheezy.

As much as it kills me to utter that word, it's true. I honestly have to catch my breath after I walk up a flight of stairs. This coming from the girl that hid cigarettes from her father in hope that he would quit. Good job, Mrs. Hypocrite.

Anyway, it dawned on me that pretty consistently I feel like shit and probably a little older than 21 years of age. There's plenty of things I can change but I don't plan on any of that happening until step #1 is complete.

Anti smoking commercials and people that throw that fake cough while smokers are outside smoking will always make me want to gag, and I'll never become insanely annoying about it like that. It's a lifestyle decision...just like your horrible choice of hair cut. Only this one is starting to affect me a bit more and I can't be departing the world due to lung cancer. Not my style.

I think that blogging about the journey to a new and healthier muah will give me the extra kick in the ass that I need to really keep up with it.

That being said, this is day #1 and I have a wicked headache.